as the one without functioning nipples, diapers are supposed to be my job. i was all geared up and ready to take on puddles and piles of baby elimination. the problem was that there weren't any. and she slept all the time - so much so that we have to go through pains to wake her for night feeds. this should all be good - who doesn't want a baby who sleeps through the night and doesn't cover herself with filth? so i read about this and online and in all the books they make it sound like these are symptoms of imminent death or at least severe mental retardation. our doctor sent us to the hospital where we were issued with t-shirts and tattoos that read "new parent - excuse my paranoia" and Schuyler was checked out over the course of a mere five hours. she's fine. doctor check up the next day reveals she has gained a very nice 7 ounces in two days. we're happy. then of course, she skips another day of elimination of any kind (with the exception of a urinal tsunami on our guest bed - feel free to come stay with us). so the doc says to bring her in (we were fine to just talk with him on the phone)... anyway, just like in The Dog Whisperer, Nurse Debbie (playing Cesar Milan) looks in her diaper (which was changed before we left the house) and there is a delicious lemonade colour. so eventful and full of clichés. Just like the future.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment