Kids, your dad is now 40 years old. And it's ok. I feel good about it. I've had a strip of grey hair in the back of my head near my neck since I was 25, so adding the extra greys doesn't bother me. And generally I still feel 25 in some ways still. I'm not sure that will ever go away. I feel like things are getting better. It's not that they were bad. It's just that I feel good about the future. I feel in some ways like these will be my most productive years. And science backs me up (although it seems the low point of happiness on average is around 46 years old!). My twenties were spent (as I feel they should) experimenting with different ideas of what I wanted me and my life to be. I have led a very lucky and privileged life. My parents gave me the opportunity to go to university and do a masters. Not enough people have that opportunity and I will do everything I can to give you that opportunity as well. I studied in France at French universities. I did a masters in England at a university that was built shortly after the Battle of Hastings! I played in a band and was signed (briefly) to a management contract. I wrote for a newspaper. I broke through my fears and did stand up comedy. I did sketch comedy in a reknown comedy troupe and played the Edinburgh festival for a month twice. Oh, and I finished my masters on time too. Not sure how that happened. I toured all around England doing comedy gigs (mostly in tiny terrible clubs). I sold a sitcom script. I joined a web company and learned how to do animation and program websites. I acted in a handful of tv shows. I moved back to Bermuda with your mum and started a web company and started teaching at the college. All of these things terrified me. All of them were things that I never thought I could do. I thought people who did these things were special - they were magical people who were somehow born different that I was. I never thought I had it in me. Until one day I just leapt into the abyss. I put everything I could into these things. I worked really hard at them. It turns out the people who do these things aren't magical (well, some of them are) but they gave themselves a shot and doing them and put in a lot of hard work until they got somewhere. In comedy, acting, and website design, I didn't have that special something that makes people truly stand out as amazing. I just didn't have it. I have friends who have that and they've gone on to do great things. But just because you won't be the best in the world doesn't mean it isn't worth being the best you can be.
So my twenties were about breaking through my fears and trying things that really scared me and finding a courage I didn't know I had. I highly recommend it. But get your darn degrees first so you have that if/when you decided you want to do something else. The needs you have when you are in your twenties are very different than in your thirties and beyond. At some point, you may find you want a regular paycheck! I also made some amazing friendships that are still with me to this day and I work equally hard at keeping those friendships alive and well. They nourish my soul.
My thirties we about building a foundation for the future. Your mum and I got married in a just perfect ceremony on a beach with your grandparents and aunts and uncles there. We couldn't have asked for a better ceremony and reception. Then, pretty soon afterward, you guys popped into our lives and our future was turned inside out and upside down. You have made me a better man. Your Mum started teaching me how to live outside of my head and learn to love better and (although I am a slow learner) I'm even getting a little better at listening to other people and seeing the world from other people's point of view (I'm still working on this because it's important!). I got a new job and completed some designations which (again) was terrifying but, as I'm sure you're bored of hearing, was one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. Then you guys came.
You guys were evidence of the miraculous. You came from us. You opened my world up. You gave me four more pairs of eyes with which to see the world. You remind me of what is really important in life because you are still excited by the simplest things and that is glorious to watch. The glee in Schuyler's face when she finds out we are going to do painting that afternoon, the utter joy Charlie gets just from realising his shorts have pockets - this is how I want to live. I try to make time for the things that make me happy - playing guitar (badly), writing, doing stand up, talking with my friends, appreciating my family, and just soaking in the sunshine on the waves or smelling pittosporum in the spring (ahhh!). Keeping yourself happy and interested in life is part of being a good friend, husband, and father. If you are happy and interested in life, you will take less from other people and have more to give. Helping others be in situations where they can be happy and interested in life is the calling of this world. I'll be here for you always. Hold me to all of the above when I forget it. If I get selfish or dull or angry, shake me out of it and show me that my shorts have pockets and we're going to do arts and crafts!
I'm happy, you guys. The events of this time of life tend to keep you parted from your friends for far too long. That everydayness you had with your friends is harder to maintain but it can be vital. Find a life that works for you. Find a life that gives you opportunities to be happy. It can be anything. Don't fear fear. If you aren't a little afraid of the choices that lie ahead, chances are they aren't worth pursuing. Dare yourself into being more than you thought possible. Love deeply. Live a life that makes you interested. Don't waste your time here. Dig around in the life around you and find the nuggets that make life wake you up. I'll be here every step of the way. No matter what mistakes you make or how many times you trip up, we've got your back. Always. Count on it. We love you and that ain't going away.
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