dinner with Schuyler

Above are some shots of Schuyler from two nights ago at dinner. She is such a delightful, willful, stubborn, amazing, determined, independent, curious little girl. Her favourite colour continues to be green and her favourite song is whichever one is playing at the time she wants you to pay attention. She loves to dance (although she has inherited her mother's dancing skills). She is very, very into her dolls and feeding them and changing them (their names are "Alexandra" and "Dee Dee" and "La Poupee"). She loves exploring and going for "walks" (in quotes because they more often than not involve me carrying her or pushing her around in a stroller) to go down to Tom Moore's mangrove lake and see/feed the fish (although we had the great fortune of seeing two huge sea turtles recently - must have been four feet head to tail easily - which caused such excitment that Schuyler dropped her camera in the water and we had to discuss what "perdu" meant). She loves games and giggles infectiously when you get actively involved in them. Favourite treats are bubble baths, cupcakes (even if they are really healthy muffins), frozen yogurt (literally just yoghurt that has been frozen), popsicles (just frozen fruit) and pancakes - all of which are often requested at the onset of a meal. The past few weeks, she has been keen to wear skirts instead of shorts or dresses and has a fashion gene inherited from her father i.e. "this is nearby! Let's wear it!".

She seems to really like her brother and it breaks our hearts a little when we all realise that the special time with just the three of us is over. But then we are all really excited about the new addition and there is a stronger sense in which it feels like he has completed the family (finally, someone else who will prefer the toilet seat up). If Charlie is half as cool as his sister, we will be pretty darn happy. And he is well on his way. It is so much more fun the second time around since we know that he becomes a real person. Getting to know this new little guy is a lovely and frustrating chore that we're savouring. Although, he could help by not peeing on his clothes so much.

Well, it's 4:11am and the second feed of the night has started. I used to hear about sleep deprivation being used as a torture device and think it was a pretty weak way to get information out of people. But right now, even with the relatively minor disruption and deprivation, i would give up a lot to go right back to bed for eight straight hours. I think I would give away ones of my guitars right now for that. I would certainly give up any secret information i knew pretty darn easily to sleep sleep sleep. I did it. Whatever it is, I confess. May I please go back to sleep now?

i'm ready for my close up

So it's 1:47am and we are half-way through the first feed of the night... this has been a pretty typical schedule (up every two hours or so) which is not terrible and certainly manageable. It is odd for me as a father to come to terms with both being at work and the success of the breastfeeding. With Schuyler, I had the summer off from the college and was home the whole time and with Liz pumping exclusively I was an active helper in the feeds. Right now, I would have already finished giving Schuyler her bottle and awaiting the end of the pump so i could clean and sterilise the bottles. Now, I am pretty much secondary to everything that goes on with Charlie. I'm at work most days while liz copes and home and gets to know our little guy's nuances and during feeds all I can do is be a spectator or changes a diaper here and there. I'm not worried about my connection with Charlie long term but right now I feel like Schuyler: intensely interested in the new arrival but frustrated that i don't get to spend the time holding him that i would like.

Charlie gets a-readin'

Charlie continues to be an interested student but his attention span needs much work.

practice makes perfect

The focus on baby care in Schuyler's playtime now borders on manic. I especially love the "toes to the nose" efforts to get the poo poo out.

one week check up for Charlie

Clocking in at 8 lbs 4 oz (he left the hospital at 7 lbs 15 oz so he's gaining weight)

Um... you gotta wait for access privileges, Charlie.

First check up went really well and Charlie managed not to demonstrate his "strong, steady stream" on the doctor or the nurse which was an added benefit. Tired but happy parents. All systems go.

20.5 inches just like the hospital measurements.

The baby!

I think it is safe to say that Schuyler likes her Baby Brother. Her waking thought is always "Daddy, see baby brother?" and she continues to find every excuse to say "bon nuit" to the baby seven times before settling in for sleep in the evenings. Today was Daddy's first day back at the office while mum held down the fort at home which made all of us a little sad because we timed Schuyler so well that we all had the entire summer together and now here we were fractured already before Charlie is even one week old. Combined with the breastfeeding seeming to work out, daddy feels a little less integral to the experience. Five days for paternity leave is not good enough for anyone.

Schuyler's babies

So how is Schuyler feeling about all this? Well, try being a two year old that gets moved with her parents to Kim and Ward's house, then a great big hurricane comes which sequesters you inside for two days, then you wake up one morning to find you've been left at Kim and Ward's and don't see your Dad for a day and your mum for three days, then Wardy Baby goes "on an airplane, see Lara" and then you come home and there is a real, live baby in the house who everyone wants to meet and play with but you are not allowed to carry him or change him or poke his eyes out or any fun stuff. It would be pretty off putting.

Fortunately, she is rising to the occasion and is still fascinated by Charlie and keeps trying to get him to play with her. The top pic is her reaction when we said she couldn't hold him because Lucy was holding him at the time. The bottom one shows the gift Charlie got her (named "Alexandra" since that's what Charlie would have been called if he had arrived with different plumbing). She's been pretty satisfied replicating our behaviour toward Charlie with her poupee which is a relief. Still early days.

On a meta note, it is 4:06am and we're just at the end of our first night feed. Charlie slept four hours and we actually had to (against all will to the contrary) wake him up to feed him! Well, done little guy. Well done.

homecoming

So we made the strange journey from hospital to home again with a completely new set of emotions. with Schuyler, we came home and realised rather belatedly that we were the only ones in charge of this baby and it was not going away. consequently, we were a little spun out, scared, dazed and confused. in fact, we were back in the hospital the very next day because she wasn't eating and had no wet diapers. it was a very, very trying time.

This homecoming was happily different. we came home as seasoned parents and a feeding baby. Magic gave Charlie his traditional welcome and we all got on with our day (and long nights). It's still a major challege to adjust to the extra mouth to feed but nowhere near the seismic shift of the first.

schuyler meets her brother

Lucy brought Schuyler in to meet her baby brother complete with "It's a boy" helium baloons. Schuyler was very, very pleased to see mummy was "working in the hostipal [sic]" and very keen to examine this new being... but after about 5 minutes of curiosity she said "OK, see other babies". Video to come.

eyes wide open

Charlie was known as "stumpy" for a bit in the hospital as he had to endue an i.v. for most of his stay so they could complete bloodwork to test for infection. They put a little pink mitten (and apologise for the colour) on his hand to stop him scraping himself and his food source with it and we were all very excited to have this thing removed.

Charlie slept most of his first day on earth so it was nice to see his eyes open.

deja vu all over again... but better

so it's 2:07am on Sunday and Charlie is coming up on four days old. It's strange how different it is this time. On the one hand, i'd forgotten what it is like to survive on so little sleep (let alone how his mum feels, surviving on less AND having the life literally sucked out of you). On the other hand, we know where this is headed and that makes the pain much, much more tolerable. I think a lot about the Chilean miners who have been trapped underground for ages now and how the rescue workers made immediate efforts to routinize their behaviour and get them to add touches of civilisation such as shaving. One of the keys to surviving such a long time in horrible circumstances mentally, they said, was the realization that there was literally light at the end of the tunnel - they would eventually be free. We will eventually sleep a full night again. When i look at Charlie, I see the future and that makes it all worth it.

He doesn't sleep like his sis but that's not such a bad thing since he is feeding the way nature intended. It is so odd for us and i'm not sure we actually believe that - in Schuyler word's - "eating boobies" can sustain life but from the ample diaper output, it's clearly working. He's been snacky, eating every half hour or so which is not cool but he just slept for three hours, so right now, he rocks.

His cone head has subsided (which will be useful if male pattern baldness follows the maternal line) and he's becoming quite a handsome little chap. Schuyler is intensely interested in petting her "little sisters" (she is finally correcting herself to "little bother" which may or may not be accurate). She is having the usual mixed feelings and, unsually, didn't want to go out to Rustico with Kim and her dad because she thought we were going to abandon her with Kim again (which is very unusual behaviour because Kim and "Wardy Baby" are two of her favourite all time playmates). She also stalls at bedtime and asked to "say bon nuit a the baby" three separate occasions when we were supposed to be finishing our reading. She's a great little girl and here's hoping Charlie takes her lead and is as interested in her and they become lifelong friends. I can't think of anything better.

It's a boy 3 - more fun from charlie's birth

It's a boy 2 - more fun from charlie's birthday

It's a boy

...so we left Ward and Kim's after a lovely meal, intent on sorting out our house after the hurricane (opening shutters, drying out the place, getting the plants back outside, etc.) before bringing Schuyler back and then those darn contractions started. Fortunately, a handy ipod contraction counter app allowed us to monitor the situation (sorry, kids, your parents are geeks). At midnight, we decided to try and get some sleep as the contractions weren't strong enough yet. At 1am, we decided we were wrong. So we threw the essentials in the car and abandoned our faithful furry friend to guard the fort (and, as it turns out, to also express his displease at being left behind via various bodily functions).




We arrived at the hospital about 1:30am and the admitting nurse didn't even both to ask what was going on and assigned a security guard to take us to the maternity ward. The contractions quickly built to a textbook pattern of real, full on, lets-get-this-show-on-the-road labour... but we were only at 3cm... (how!?)



This time was different (as it always is, I hear). The first time was like a long, hard battle. This was like hand-to-hand combat with Mike Tyson: brutal, with a small risk that someone might bite someone's ear off.


Liz was in agony and marched around the room with a TENS machine glued to her back, huffing and puffing and making noises that made the person in the room responsible for the pregnancy so very proud of his wife and slightly worried for his safety. Liz trooped through and by 3am we were at 4cm and Liz was really not having any fun whatsoever. Daddy timed the contractions on the ipod app which was obviously just as difficult a task as late stage labour.


By the time 4am rolled around, 9cm and ready to go. By 4:28am, we met Charles Alexander Young for the first time: a cone-headed, pasty pile of boy wailing and confused. Charlie, you already owe your mum big time, buddy! She was a real hero. I cannot express to you how amazing Liz was. Just an awe inspiring display of dedication, resilience and love.


So Charlie arrived at 8lbs 8.5oz and 20.5 inches with all fingers and toes accounted for (you got the Young toes - sorry, Charlie. They're good for typing or perching on branches).


He also breastfed which was a relief after our efforts with his sister. And then he promptly did what his mum and i really wanted to do: he fell fast asleep. Welcome to the world, Charlie - we can't wait to get to know you and we're starting to realise just how lucky we are.


I can't teach you any of the traditional boy stuff (sports, cars, fixing stuff, generally being useful) but i can teach you how to play guitar to a very average level; i can introduce you to some great music that may live inside you for the rest of your life; i can teach you how to cook a half decent meal (chicks dig it); i can show you through our friendships that you can find great friends in family and great family in friends; i can teach you all i know about being happy in this world and i'll spent the rest of my days making sure you know we love you and we support you and whatever happiness you choose. But Grandpa Flip may have to teach you the offside rule.

More info and pics to come...

with Igor done, we needed more excitement...

So we went into labour...